Author Archive for John Perkes

21
Jan
10

b is for….Batesville

By John 4 Comments
Categories: Caskets and batesville

Batesville. Acutally its “Batesville Caskets Company, a Hillenbrand Industry.” But many funeral directors simply refer to it as the Big B.

If you have ever wondered where your local funeral homes get their caskets, there is a very good chance that they come from one of the three biggest casket manufacturers…Batesville, Aurora, or York. Batesville is by far the biggest company. They command quite a market share of the industry. I remember hearing a while ago that 6 out of 10 burials in the United States were buried in a Batesville casket but I haven’t been able to find anything to substantiate that, so don’t quote me on it.

I have to say that they make a really good casket. Their wood caskets are very solid and the metal units always have a perfect paint and weld job. Why is this important? I never said it was, but I have seen at a lot of caskets and so I notice the differences. There is a new trend with the casket wholesalers to import units from China, but there is no comparison in quality. Lets just say, my family will be buried in a Batesville.

Behold two of my favorite Batesville Caskets. The wood is the Pembroke Cherry. It is solid cherry wood that is polished to a high shine. There is also a decorative gold line around the lid of the casket that gives the unit a lot character. The metal casket is referred to as the Primrose. This casket can actually come in a couple different metals including bronze, copper and steel. This is casket is always one of the most sold caskets at every funeral home I have worked at. Of course, it is a little more popular with ladies…I don’t recall ever burying a man in it.

I could fill pages talking about Batesville. Their manufacturing plant is awesome. Their inventory system is awesome. Their distribution network is awesome. I feel kind of bad that I am on the Batesville “soapbox” right now, but don’t worry, I’ll talk about the other casket companies in due time. In fact, my next featured is going to be an Aurora.

Finally, in case you were wondering why the heck any of this matters, I answer you with a direct quote from the official Batesville.com homepage: “Because every family deserves a Batesville”

13
Nov
09

a Hot Wheels hearse??? Heck yes.

By John 2 Comments
Categories: hearse

I have loved hearses my whole life. I even have a wierd picture I drew in the first grade with a body on top of the car (maybe one day I’ll post it). Most kids would find the Hot Wheels at the toy store and look for Ferraris or Monster Trucks. Not me. I looked for hearses. Now, I want to point out in case you have never read any of my other posts, I am not some gothic wierdo. Hell, my dad was a mortician (and now I’m a mortician) and the hilight of the week would be to see him driving the hearse in a procession on the way to the cemetery. Well I looked and looked for toy hearses very unsuccesfully for many years. Friends, I have a great announcement: they exist! Behold….two hearses from my own collection:

HotWheelsHearseMatchboxHearse

I recently picked the Matchbox Hearse up on an ebay auction and I am lucky enough to have two of the white Hot Wheels. These cars are all done on a limited production so they are very hard to come by. Check ebay. There are usually a couple auctions there. Apparently there is some sort of facination with the 1963 Fleetwood Cadillac hearse in the toy world. If it’s not the ’63, its the Adams Family car. Perhaps I should write them a letter about the Eagle Echelon. I guess the moral of this post is that if you looking for some funeral toys, check ebay. They do exist.

On a side note, I am a horrible blogger and I promise to try and get better. I didn’t realize how many people visited this! I can’t even believe it has been over a year since the last post. So….I need ideas. You know you have questions and I have answers. Comment away.

01
Aug
08

The Marsellus Masterpiece

By John 8 Comments
Categories: Caskets
Tags:

Time for another Casket Spotlight, and boy is this one a beauty.  The Masterpiece by Marsellus Caskets Co is my all-time favorite casket.  The reason I like it is not because it is expensive (around $16,000 retail), or has a really soft velvet interior (oooh, it is nice).  I like this casket because even the underside of the casket looks good.  Nothing is forgotton or hidden in the construction.  The skill and craftsmanship it takes to make the unit is like no other that I know of.  This casket personifies excellence and elegance.  If I have my way, this will be the one that I am buried in.

A little history on the Marsellus Casket Company.  Marsellus was a small manufacturer, but they put out an awesome casket.  They have been regarded as the Rolls Royce of caskets in the funeral industry.  However, their distribution was small and so one thing led to another (its a long story, believe me), and their intangible assets were acquired by Batesville Casket Co (the big guys) in 2003.  I read that it would have cost more to overhaul the factory than to just move the operation because a lot of their machines were from the 1930′s.  So now Batesville manufactures the caskets at their plant in Mississippi.

The Masterpiece casket has some impressive specs.  It is contructed of with solid Mahogany planks that are 2 inches thick (known as 8/4 or “eight quarter” in the woodworking world).  When completed, it weighs 400 pounds.  The casket takes 6 months to build and is done completely by hand.  The finish on the wood is hand rubbed to a brilliant shine and takes 16 hours to complete.  The casket is quite impressive to see in person.

Marsellus Caskets have also been known as the caskets of the presidents.  It makes sense since John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, and Ronald Reagan were all buried in caskets by Marsellus.

Underside of Marsellus MasterpieceMarsellus Masterpiece

10
Jul
08

How easy is it to become a mortician? I’m glad you asked….

By John 3 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized

One of the more common questions I get asked is what exactly it takes to become a mortician.  Well besides having the desire to be “on-call” the rest of your life and have to go to work at all hours of the day, you must become licensed.  Different states have different rules, so for an example I will explain the requirements of my state….Idaho.

To find out the requirements for another state, just google “idaho board of morticians” replacing idaho with whatever state you want.  That should bring up your states board and requirements should be listed there.  In Idaho, becoming licensed is basically a two step process.  First, you must become an apprentice or Mortician Resident Trainee, as the law likes to call it.  To qualify for and fulfill the apprenticship you must:

  1. Be at least 18 years old
  2. Be of good moral character (I’m not making that up…its written in the statute)
  3. Have graduated from an accredited high school
  4. Must work full-time for one year, defined as at least 36 hours a week and 50 weeks for the year.  This time is to be under the direct supervision of a supervising licensed mortician.

After the apprenticeship has been completed, then once a person has met the rest of the requirements they may become licensed.  They are:

  1. Be at least 21 years of age.
  2. Be of good moral character.
  3. Competed and received credit for at least 60 semester hours from an accredited university with at least a C average.
  4. Must complete and receive credit from an accredited mortuary science program in addition to previous education requirement.
  5. Must pass the International Conference of Funeral Service Examining Board’s National Board Examination, we well as the State Based Funeral Service Examination with at least a 75%.

As you can see, it takes a little more than filling out an application to become a mortician.  By the time you add 1 year for an apprenticeship, 2 years to complete 60 college credits, and at least 1 year to complete mortuary college, it takes at least 3 years to meet the requirements just so you can take the tests.  And if you are like me, then you stop part way through only start back again a couple years later.  Which explains why you are going to be 29 when you are finally licensed.

14
Jun
08

A Drive-thru Funeral

By John 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized

I have come across something that I feel definitely warrants a post (I apologize for my lack of posts lately, lets just say life has been hectic).  It was pointed out to me that there are some funeral homes that have a drive-thru window!  What the heck?  Is our society so lazy that we can’t even get out of the car for a half hour to pay respects?  The person that told me this said that it was in California so I conducted a very exhaustive internet search (I even went to page 4 of a google search) and asked some of my fellow funeral dirctors if they have heard about it.

Before I tell you the results I also want to point out that California gets blamed for a lot by people in the funeral industry.  Basically, if someone tells a story and has no actual proof of it the outlandish tale, they say it happened in California.  I don’t know what California funeral directors did to tork off everyone else in the country, but it hardly seems fair.

Back to the drive-thru…..it was interesting to find out that the drive-thru funeral homes were not actually in California (that I was able to find).  There are stories about them in Florida and Illinois.  The earliest evidence of drive-thru was at Gatling’s Chapel Inc.  There is nothing on thier website that say that they still offer the service.  If you want to read the New York Times article about it go here.  I also want to point out, that for them claiming to do over 2000 funerals a year (which is a pretty high volume), their website has a lot to be desired.

The drive thru?Funeral Drive Thru Window
The only picture of a drive thru funeral home I was able to find was that of Junior Funeral Home in Pensacola, Florida.  The funeral home is now closed and no longer in operation.  Apparently the deceased was set next to a big window and that was that.

I am a big supporter of innovations in the funeral industry.  I think that Webcasts of funerals are a great idea.  Arranging funerals online may even take off.  But a drive-thru viewing window is just a little too much! Please don’t support this if it happens in your area.  Lets leave drive-thru to fast food.

03
Apr
08

What the heck is a Landau Bar?

By John 2 Comments
Categories: hearse
Tags: , ,

One question that I am commonly asked is if there is a significance to that s-shaped thing on the back of hearses?  Well the easy answer to that is “no” and that s-shaped thing is called a Landau Bar.  The landau bar is basically a design that the first hearse builders borrowed from horse drawn carriages and it has been on hearses ever since.  Instead of boring you with many words about the history of the hearse and how they are made, this video should be a lot more fun to watch.  It is about 3.5 minutes long.  Enjoy.

20
Mar
08

A Golden Beauty

By John 4 Comments
Categories: Caskets
Tags: ,

Promethean
When I was growing up I always had a fascination with caskets.  I’m sure it is because I associated them with my dad/hero and visiting him at the funeral home.  However, I was never allowed to touch them….who wants to buy a casket with some 6 year old’s fingerprints on it anyways?  I think that I was around 14 years old when my day of graduation came.  I can even remember the smell of the casket room at Wood Funeral Home as my dad showed my how to properly prepare a casket for showing.  First, fold the out the edge material making sure there are no unwanted wrinkles.  Next, place the pillow at a slight angle to help the casket look comfortable.  Next, place the overlay on the closed half of the casket and line up that material with the edge material evenly.  Finally, raise the bed of the casket so that it doesn’t look like a bottomless pit (yes, most casket beds raise and lower by crank).  The lesson learned that day was not that paying attention to the details would help sell the casket, but instead that the families we serve deserve to have every detail paid attention to.  I still couldn’t legally drive a car and I hadn’t kissed a girl, but at that point I started to became a man…..more or less.

With that in mind I present to you my second favorite casket of all-time….The Promethean Bronze by Batesville.  You will probably hear me refer to Batesville often as they are the biggest (and best) manufacturer of caskets in the nation.  The Promethean is the epitome of excellence in a metal casket.  The casket it built of 48oz Bronze.  As a semi-precious metal, bronze is rust-resistant and the most expensive of the casket metals.  The bronze is then plated with 24k gold.  Awesome.  The finish is hand polished and very very shiny.  The interior of the casket will come just about any way that you order it.  As I recall, this is one of the few caskets that is made totally by hand and by order at the Batesville plant.  Expect to pay at least $20,000 for this unit of excellence.  Now you ask, does anyone really need a gold-plated bronze casket?  Of course not, but it sure is pretty.

The pictures are a couple of stock photos I was able to find.  The most recent notable I know of that was buried in the Promethean Bronze was James Brown.  The photo I chose doesn’t show the “Godfather of Soul” in it, but for those interested, just google “James Brown Casket” and look at the images (by the by, the mortician did an excellent job).
promethean.jpg
James Brown Casket

07
Mar
08

Cadillac Echelon Hease by Eagle

By John 2 Comments
Categories: hearse
Tags: , ,

I present to you the Cadillac Echelon by Eagle Coach Company – which also happens to be the hearse pictured on the header of the blog.  Eagle is one of my favorite coach (hearse) building companies – I know, can you believe that there are companies that just build hearses and limos? Eagle probably make the best Cadillac hearses.  This coach was unveiled at the 2007 National Funeral Directors Association Convention in Las Vegas and isn’t even one thier company website (which is www.eaglecoachcompany.com). 

The word that comes to my mind when thinking about this hearse is AWESOME!!!!  The design is very modern but doesn’t forget about traditional styling.  The back window reminds me of the new Mercedes-Benz designs.  There is an urn enclave for use when transporting an urn instead of a casket.  My personal favorite of the new design in the sun roof in the bay of the hearse.  This allows for a natural light to show upon the casket while travelling to the cemetery or church (please read that with slight sarcasm). 

I am not 100% sure of the price tag yet, but from what I have heard, all of this, and more, can be yours for around $85,000.  Definitely one of the more expensive hearses I know of but there is nothing else like this on the market.  Enjoy the pictures below.  A special thanks to my friend Brock for sending them to me.

Eagle Echelon Interior
Eagle Echelon Hearse

04
Mar
08

Same joke….different day

By John 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized

funeral director clipartSo I know that there are others in the same boat as me, but whenever I tell someone that I work in the funeral industry, they always want to tell me a joke.  Being a second generation funeral director I have been hearing them for quite some time, and they are all the same.  There are some that I actually think are funny, but for the most part I am tired of hearing them.  So I thought this would be a good time to get them out of the way.  Here are my favorites:

  • “You are the last one to them down.”
  • “Everyone is dieing to see you.”
  • “At least the customers never talk back.”
  • “How was work today?  Pretty dead?”

There is also a joke that gets emailed around about a funeral director switching heads on two bodies because that would supposedly be easier than switing suits.  (If that one gets emailed to me again I will probably freak)  If anyone else can think of some that I forgot, feel free to post it in the comment section.  Lets see if there are some I have never heard of.

03
Mar
08

Bodies in Motion and At Rest

By John 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Bodies in MotionI just finished reading the book “Bodies in Motion and At Rest” by Thomas Lynch.  I highly recommend this book.  The author is a third-generation funeral director in Michigan and also a poet.  Mr. Lynch is one of my favorite authors and so I will probably refer to him often in this blog.  He has a very eloquent way of talking about experiences in the funeral industry.  The way he writes can be humorous but at the same time not dis-respectful.  This book is a collection of short essays, so you are able skip around and there is no story that you are missing out on.  Some of the essays in the book deal with funerals and likening them to life and others are just about life experiences such as raising his kids and his divorce.  This book would be good for the funeral director looking for a little laugh and anyone else who would like a little insight into the life of a funeral director.  Check the book out here on Amazon.com.  You are able to read the first couple of pages there.

29
Feb
08

The beginning…

By John 2 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

So this is the beginning.  My wife recently kicked me off our “family” blog.  I put “family” in quotes because even though it says family, she is the only one who gets to post anything.  Apparently she didn’t like all of the funeral references.  But I said “Hey! I think people are interested”  So I am please to start My Undertaking.  My goal with this is to show people some of what is available in the funeral industry.  For example, did you know there is more than one type of embalming fluid?  It’s true.  There are litterally hundreds of types.  So every couple of days I am going to highlite something from caskets to hearses to cemetery equipment.  And if you have a question about something you have seen or are curious about let me know.